No Self-Worth Required

It might surprise you to notice that self-worth isn’t a feeling or experience. Upon reflection it seems rather like a lack of a specific feeling or experience. A lack of self-doubt, confusion, and self-judgement.

If you aren’t careful, you might confuse self-worth with that feeling of wholeness, presence and connectedness that appears when we fully accept ourselves. But careful analysis will reveal that in those moments no valuation of oneself is going on. There is no “worth” being assessed for there to be any self-worth. There is no “esteem” or “confidence” that allows you to hold your head up high and think highly of yourself. Indeed, when you experience what we call self-worth, you aren’t thinking of yourself at all.

So, we might say that there is a poison, that causes specific symptoms, and that has a specific antidote. But if you keep poisoning yourself over and over again, you’re better of avoiding the poison than just stocking up on the antidote.

So, the poison is comparison, people-pleasing and fitting in. The symptoms are self-doubt, confusion and self-judgment. The antidote is positive self-talk, self-esteem and thinking of yourself as enough. Then what is the natural state? Presence, self-love, and wholeness.

If we stop poisoning ourselves, we get to experience the natural state directly. No self-worth required.